Tiffany Stone (The Story) Chapter One

He thought. “What kind of dream is this?”

He felt as if he were in a dream that he couldn’t awaken from.

He thought. “I must awaken from this dream and take charge of myself. But how? How can I awaken?”

At last, he was no longer traveling above the ocean at warp speed. He could feel his body, now splash into the water, as the impact pulled his clothes off. Now he could feel a terrible wet chill.

As waves crashed over him, he started to awake, but the waters were so frigid, he could feel himself going into a state of hyperthermia.

He thought. “I’m gone, and there is no Canada that I will see.”

After a time, he could feel lips pressed on his. The lips were soft and sweet. He could smell the scent of a fresh morning bubble bath. He could feel hot air blowing into his mouth. But he could not move. His eyes refused to open. But he could feel the sun now. Then he felt tender fingers touch his face.

Hands were now pressing on his stomach and water started to flow from out of his mouth. He felt hot air again blow inside his mouth.

Gentle fingers touched his wrist, as he heard a female voice cry out.” A pulse, a pulse.”

He lay there helpless on the beach. He could not move, he could not see. He felt only the sensation of feminine hands all over his body.

Then he heard a female voice cry out. “Body heat. He must have lots of body heat. Its his only chance to get warm enough to survive.”

His eyes, then started to open very slightly. He saw a woman standing over him, she had long strawberry blond hair that was rich with curls.

She was quickly undressing and revealing very, full and beautiful, breasts, a slim, waistline and very, firm thighs. He then felt her body go underneath his. But, yet, then again, he saw the same woman standing over him and quickly undressing, yet, she was wearing different clothes.

Then she placed her body on top of his.

He thought. “What kind of woman, can be on top of me, and underneath me at the same time?”

And then he thought.

“Could this be Hell?”

“And I be damned.”

“To feel this lust.”

“Yet to frozen be.”

“What were my sins?”

“For this to be.”

“Frozen so helpless.”

“Here for all eternity.”

Suddenly, he started to feel a rush of heat spreading, all over his body. The heat from the woman’s body above him, combined with the heat of the woman’s body underneath him was thawing him out rapidly now.

Then he thought.

“What madness can this be?”

“If I am not dead.”

“I must be mad.”

“To lie here with a woman that.”

“That has two sets of hands.”

“That warms me with two bodies yet.”

“I may be back on earth again.”

“But for sure, my mind.”

“It must be gone.”

Just then, he heard the sounds of laughter.

A female voice cried out. “A butterfly, a butterfly.”

Another female voice, cried out. “Where?”

The other female voice replied. “On his butt. On his butt. He has a butterfly tattoo on his butt.”

Suddenly, he started to laugh. He said. “Oh, the butterfly. That was a very drunken night in Singapore.”

He asked. “What ailment do I have, that I am seeing and hearing two of you?”

They both laughed together, and said. “We are twin sisters.”

He laughed and said. “Oh, you mean that I have not gone mad.”

“Thank you both for what you’ve done.” He said.

One of the twins said. “We couldn’t think of any a faster way to warm you up then using our combined body heat.”

He smiled and said. “That was a lot more fun than hot soup.”

One of the twins then said. “Come with us and we will give you a hot bath and get you some dry clothes to wear.”

“The hot water felt good and it was nice to get that salty water off his body.” He thought.

One of the twins said. “These are my brothers clothes, I think you are about the same size, he doesn’t need to share them with a butterfly, but try them on, I think they will fit. But don’t be in any big hurry eh.”

He put the clothes on, and said. “The butterfly is very happy.”

They both laughed, and one of the twins, poured him a Scotch, and said. “Here this will put some hair on your butterfly.”

Once they realized he was okay, they became very curious and one of the twins asked. “How did it happen, that you washed up on this far away island?”

He told them, “I’m not exactly sure myself, but I will tell you what I can.”

He told his twin rescuers. “I had fallen asleep on a couch on my ship and then somehow, I washed up ashore on your enchanting island. It makes no sense, but here I am. All I can remember is that I felt an incredible urge to smell a woman’s sweet perfume.”

“Here you are how?” The other twin sister asked.

“I wished myself here is my only explanation.” He said.

“I feel like being somewhere, where there is music and dancing.” He said.

“And somewhere where you can spell lots of women’s perfume eh.” One of the twins remarked.

“Yes, I confess. I need to fill up my nostrils with the sweet scent of women and their perfume. He said with a smile.

“Sure you’re not needing any more then just a sniff of a women?” One of the twins remarked with a seductive smile.

The twins then directed him to the only bar on the island. He liked the music and the place was packed with beautiful women. Noticing a woman leaning over the jukebox whose breasts were bouncing in her tight top, he stopped and asked. “Could you play You Sexy Thang for me?”

She looked at Kevin as if he were piece of chocolate candy and said. “If I’m dreaming this don’t anyone wake me.”

“My name is Kevin. And where have you been all my life?” He said

“My name is Bernice. And I’ve been right here just waiting for you to walk in the door.” She said.

Kevin moved his head close to her neck and said. “I love how you smell.”

She put her arms around Kevin and said. “He’s mine. I’ll not be sleeping in a cold bed tonight.”

Kevin then gazed into her eyes seductively and kissed her, as he felt her breasts press pleasantly against his chest.

Kevin thought to himself. “Its fantastic that this place is filled with beautiful women. But why am I the only guy here?”

Just then one of the twins waved them over and said. “Come and sit with us. We ordered drinks for everyone.”

Kevin took a swig of his drink and asked. “Am I in heaven, or is this a lesbian bar?”

The twin sisters laughed and said. “No, it’s just that all the men on the island are out fishing and you’re the only male on the entire island at the moment.”

It seemed as if every women in the place wanted to dance with him. The music was great, and word had gotten around about the butterfly tattoo on his butt, and the women seemed to be enjoying him being the butt of all their jokes, so to say.

The woman behind the bar suddenly cleared the top of the bar counter and yelled.

“Come on sailor hop up on the counter and give us a dance.” As You Sexy Thang started to play.

Being a good sport, Kevin jumped up and started dancing. Kevin started to playfully unbutton his shirt as a bunch of woman started yelling.

“Take it off. Take it all off sailor. We want to see the butterfly.”

Kevin thought to himself. “I’ll just strip down to my underwear.”

Now with Kevin wearing only his shorts, the woman now screamed loudly the words.

“Take it off. Take it all off. We want to see the butterfly.”

Kevin yelled back. “Okay ladies. But this will have to be our own little secret. The UCMJ (Uniform Code Military Justice) doesn’t allow me to be lewd. At least not in uniform anyway. But hey. I guess I’m not in uniform today anyway eh.”

As Kevin turned around and lowered his shorts, the ladies clapped wildly at the site of his butterfly.

Hearing cameras clicking, Kevin pulled his shorts back up and turned around and asked. “Please? Stop ladies. No more pictures. I could be Court Martialed for this. Seriously ladies, I know a lot of women out there that could ID a picture of my butterfly.”

But instead of stopping, they applauded wildly and kept clicking pictures. Kevin shrugged his shoulders as he started to dress and yelled. “How bout another Molson up here eh?”

An exceptionally well-dressed woman walked up to him. She absolutely radiated with beauty. Her long dark, brown hair and hazel eyes were striking.

She extended her hand and said. “Hi, my name is Tiffany Stone, I’m a Hollywood journalist and I would like to hear your story.”

“Hi, I’ve read articles that you’ve written, but I never knew what you looked like. You certainly don’t look like a journalist, you’re much too pretty.”

The woman sitting next to him intervened and said. “I already got his story and he’s coming home with me right after we have a few more drinks.”

He laughed and said to the woman sitting next to him. “Don’t worry, she doesn’t want me, she just wants the story, nothing more.”

“Oh, in that case come back to my house with us, and get your story.” The woman said.

“Tiffany Stone, turned to him and asked. Would you mind?”

“I would be more than glad to give you the story.” He replied.

“My name is Bernice.” She said, as she extended her hand to Tiffany Stone.

“I’m Kevin and it will be my pleasure to give you the story.” He said.

“I have a camcorder and a microphone with me, if you’d like to do anymore entertaining.” Tiffany Stone said.

Kevin asked. “Would you mind recording me Tiffany Stone so that when the men of the village get back from their fishing trip, the ladies of the village can share my visit with them?”

“Certainly” Tiffany Stone replied.

“Ok than, since you wonderful Canadians have shown me such wonderful hospitality, I’m going to do a few scripts for you that I’ve written. So far I’ve only performed these scripts out at sea to a very captive audience, so if I start to bore you, let me know and I’ll stop. This first one is called My First Kiss. Okay Tiffany, if you don’t mind, roll the camcorder.”

My First Kiss

Being seven, can be very awkward. You’re no longer cute and cuddly anymore, but your still far from being grown up. At seven, I was still my Mom’s charge. Wherever she went, I had to follow.

I was the strangest little Kid. I wasn’t interested in anything. Every thing just seemed to be a bore, and I couldn’t understand why I was a little Kid.

My Mom was always losing me. She would make me go shopping with her, and I would think. “Oh, more shopping, I’m going to sleep.” So, I would crawl under a display or something and go to sleep.

After a while, all the sales girls would be on the alert whenever, I would walk into a department store, because they new I was going to find some place to hide away. But the worst place was the sand box.

Whenever my Mom would take me to the sand box, I would think. “Oh, no, I have to be around all those Kids that think this is fun.” I mean after putting the sand in your pail once, the thrill is gone.

So of course, I would go right to sleep in the sandbox. But the ultimate low was Kindergarten. All of these Kids playing with little blocks and making a mess with all those crayons. I went right to sleep on that.

The teacher would say to my Mom. “I don’t understand your Son, he refuses to stay awake in my class.”

I thought. “Oh, let me hurry and grow up. Life as a little Kid, is just too boring.”

I mean really, I felt like I had nothing in common with the junior set. Then, this was almost a bright note.

Someone from a modeling agency noticed me sound asleep in the sandbox one day, and said to my Mom. “Your Son is really handsome, I would like to model him.”

I thought. “Hey, that might be interesting.”

But no. My Mom said. “I want my Son to have a normal childhood and not have to grow up with cameras everywhere.”

I thought. “Mom, are you crazy? I can be a star here. And anyway. What kind of a normal childhood is this that I’m having? Everything bores me.”

Then one day, my Mom took me to the Park for a picnic with her friend and her friends, little daughter that was the same age as I. We were both 7 at the time.

I thought. “Oh, another boring picnic, and now I’m going to have to listen to all their shopping talk. I’m going to sleep.”

So, I found a nice spot on the grass and I feel sound asleep. Then after a while, I felt something crawling on me. I opened my eyes and noticed that it was my Mom’s, friends, daughter. I noticed that my Mom and her friend were busy chatting away, and were not even aware that the girl was crawling all over me.

I thought. “Well, if I close my eyes and pretend I’m sleeping, the girl will go away and find something else to crawl on.”

But no, she kept crawling all over me.

I’m thinking. “Well, I don’t know what she thinks she’s doing, but I’m just going to keep my eyes closed until she gets bored and goes away.”

Then, all of a sudden, I feel something soft on my lips.

I’m thinking. “Hmmmm, that feels good. I wonder what that can be.”

It just kept feeling nicer and nicer.

Then I thought. “Oh, what the heck. Let me open my eyes to see what this is.”

Then I notice, that it’s the girl’s lips that are on mine.

I said. “What’s that”?

She said. “That’s a kiss.”

I said. “Oh, I like that.”

She said. “I like that to.”

I smiled and said. “Oh, at last something that’s not boring.”

Well, since that day, my life really changed. I wasn’t falling asleep all over the place anymore. I seemed to be wide-awake and interested.

But, I always wonder. “Was it the kiss that day, when I was seven, that sparked something in me; or was it just time to wake up?”

Well, whatever, I have been wide, awake, ever since. And that is the story of my first kiss, and my first un-boring moment.

“Thank you Kevin I really enjoyed that.” Tiffany Stone said.

“But why is everyone crying? It didn’t have that kind of effect on the sailors. Kevin said smiling.

“That’s because sailors can never become Mom’s. Its very sweet and touching Kevin.” Tiffany Stone said.

I have updated stories at Hub Pages. hubpages.com/profile/new/timothy_mccorkell hubpages.com/profile/new/timothy_mccorkell

Music of the British Virgin Islands: Fungi

Fungi is the name given to the local musical form of the British Virgin Islands. Fungi music is an expression of British Virgin Islands culture as it shows the island’s African and the European influences in a unique sound known only as fungi. The name fungi comes from the local cornmeal dish called fungi.

Fungi is a cornmeal based food which is made with different ingredients ranging from okra to onions, green peppers and is sometimes done plain. This “cook up” which is a savoury fusion of different makes something new and delicious; that is what fungi music is all about.

A fungi band is based on the fusion of a wide range of instruments, many of which are homemade. The beat of the double bass is the base of a colourful mix of sounds and instruments; for this reason fungi music is an experience all its own.

The components of a fungi band or “scratch band” include:

o Ukulele

o Banjo

o Bongos

o Guitar

o Double Bass or Bass Guitar

o Keyboard

o Calabash

o Washboard

o Triangle

o Saxophone

Themes explored in fungi music include:

o Love and Relationships

o Folk Lore which is the basis of BVI Oral history on topics ranging from church life to smuggling rum.

o Current Events and Social Commentary

Mood and Atmosphere:

o Very festive, sometimes humorous

o Fungi music is made for dancing

o Fungi bands perform at a variety of events including:

o Weddings

o Full Moon Parties

o Festivals

o Restaurants/Hotels

There is a definite melody and rhythm and the lyrics are meaningful as the songs tell stories from the past. These stories are reminders of the life the people of the BVI lived. Fungi music is popular during such events as the BVI Music Festival and fungi is taught in schools and is a part of the school curriculum.

Notable fungi artists are BVI educator turned politician, the Hon. Elmore Stoutt who is regarded as the Fungi Master, and the legendary Lashing Dogs.

Dexter. J.A. Penn is a young, self taught photographer from the British Virgin Islands. Mr. Penn is currently pursuing a Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) degree at the University of the West Indies, St. Augustine, Trinidad and Tobago. He continues to develop his talent by experimenting with different techniques and styles.

Senate Offers Outlet For Bipartisan Feuding: Will Install Boxing Ring

The Senate, recently more rancorous than usual in terms of bipartisan backbiting, decided to offer an outlet for the aggressive behavior by voting to install a boxing ring. In an effort to allow for the widespread lack of physical conditioning, all fights will be limited to one round.

The first fight scheduled is between the outspoken liberal Democrat from Massachusetts, Senator Edward Kennedy, and the feisty Republican who hails from the state of Tennessee, Bill Frist.

At the pre-match weigh-in, Kennedy stated, “I can’t tell you how much I’ve been hoping to get into the ring with this Demo basher. I’ll moider the bum.”

Frist counterpunched with, “Sez who? I’m gonna flatten your face, you bleedin’-heart liberal.”

President Bush applauded the start of bipartisan boxing in the Senate, saying, “I think a little honest competition is always a good thing. You can be sure I’ll be rooting for the pugilists who are on the Republican side of the ring.”

Dennis Hastert maintained that, while he himself is far too portly even to go one round, the advent of boxing in the Congress “couldn’t have begun at a more auspicious time. Elections are coming up, and I’m sure folks all across America will be watching to see who the winners are. As you know, most folks like to go with the fella who’s still standing when all the punching is over.”

Don King, the steely haired boxing promoter, said, “I look at it this way. If any of these Senators turns out to pack a punch, I’ll sign him for a bout in Vegas. These days, going in he’s already better known that any heavyweight in the sport.”

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com/ NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “great humor and ebullience” and “good, genuine laughs.”